Saturday, March 22, 2008

Queen Treat Introduces Other Household Residents



Good afternoon good people of blogville! I am the residing Queen of the Hoover household, Treat. My human, Nancy, is still sick so I thought I would take it upon myself to introduce you to my loviness and give you some insight into the other, ahem, residents in the house.

First is the most important one of all, ME. You can see all of my resplendent glory in the photo above. This is me watching over all of my kingdom, that is, before my human decided that I wasn't allowed outside at all except for the dreaded ........ oh I hate to say it ............. exercise. Argh!! Yes, she actually makes me exercise. Oh the inhumanity of it all - of course all the attention I get while exercising is worth it, plus the added benefit of getting the lowdown on who's been around visiting us and any little presents left for us makes it ...... almost ...... tolerable. But I ask you, look at that glorious body of mine!! Do I look like I need exercise?? Of course not! I'm just ............ poofy! It's all that beautiful fur, that's all.

Anyway, I love to sit along the back of my human's chair when she sits at her drafting table drawing or working on her computer. She has this thing about me sitting ON the drafting table. Claims I'll hurt her artwork. Sheesh! When I'm not on the chair, I'm either following her around the house or forcing ... er ..... sweetly loving my way into her lap. If her lap is unavailable, I'll try another human's lap. At night, I lay cuddled with my human, preferably across her face - her breathing is so warm, soothing and relaxing. For some reason my human finds this position uncomfortable. Humans! Go figure!

What? Oh, oh yes, I need to continue, don't I? The next resident I'll introduce you too to the goofiest, craziest, most ridiculous fool I have ever had the misfortune of meeting. His name is Tooki. You can see him in all of his foolishness right there on your right. Yep, he's a winner all right! I'm not quite sure why my human wanted him, but here he is. He was born here along with his brother, Blitz. Let me tell you, sharing a home with those two clowns was torture!! They were always tag teaming poor little me. Well, Blitz is no more now (he got too brave with the mean outdoor critters), much to Tooki's dismay. Now Tooki and Tony (more about him in a moment) have turned my wonderful home into a race track! *sniff* It's awful! They whip around here, sliding around corners, bouncing off of everything from the top of the sofa, to the bookcase, right through the middle of my House master's (my human's mate) feet and under his desk ........ oooooooooooh, that's not good. Boy do they get in trouble for that! *snort* Hehe.

What? Oh all right stop pouting. Tooki is insisting on me putting up a more flattering picture of him. So how's this one??

(hehehehehe). Oh be quiet! All right, all right, I'll put up another one! Sheesh, male cats. Sometimes there's no pleasing them. *smirk* I still like the one with Tooki's head in the watering can better. Hehehe, Hey! Back off there! No swatting the Queen! By the way, I had heard a nasty rumor that my human is painting a picture of Tooki for a competition. I actually saw it today.
How insulting! Why she would ever want to paint such a nincompoop as Tooki I don't know, especially when she has such a glorious model like me around.

Last year a new resident moved in. Why my humans felt the need to add to the number of felines in the house I do not know. Humans often do fickle things for no reason. We have now got yet another male cat in the house.

That's just not fair, two male cats against little ole me! Well, I had to make sure this new upstart understood his place here, and he was quite good about it all. Better than that furball Tooki is. Tooki will just never get it!

Tony is of the long-haired variety, like me but not nearly as beautiful. You can see him below. Whereas I have many splendid colors in my coat, he has only two, gold and white, just like Tooki. Can you say booooooooooring! He is quite mannerly though, and is even willing to play with me occasionally. However, he sometimes has the audacity of trying to play with me when I have not instigated it! I can not have that happening, so I put my paw down in no uncertain terms whenever that happens. Tony has been pretty good, even though he did not grow up here like the rest of us did. My human has raised all of us from kittenhood, but Tony came to us already grown up. He's the same age as Tooki (God have mercy on me!), and I heard he lived in a garage before coming here. My humans have had a terrible time getting Tony to understand the concept of not getting directly under their feet and he has been stepped on several times. I think he's finally getting it though. Poor Tony doesn't understand, the only one here who can lay in the middle of a doorway in the middle of the night and not get stepped on is me! That's because I'm the queen (that, and I'm not stupid enough to just lie there and let myself be stepped on like he does). Tony doesn't try to steal my human's lap, or sleep with her (like some other buffoons), so he's okay. I won't post an embarrassing photo of him. *grin* Tony mostly likes to spend time in my human's brother's room. I go in there now and then to make sure everything is in order, but I let Tony have the run of that room. As long as he leaves my human and her son alone, it'll be all right.

Now, there's one more resident feline here, she lives outdoors though. My human says we have to go live outside when we stop using the litterbox properly. The horror of it! I shall always be sure to park my tookus in the litterbox whenever I feel the need to go. My human is really serious about this!

The outdoor feline's name is Mischief, and Mischief actually raised me to be the glorious Queen that I am today! She isn't my real mommy, but Mischief was already an adult feline living in my human's home when my human brought me home as a little baby. Mischief is about one year older than I am, but she is sooooo much more experienced from living outdoors with those possums, raccoons, bears, and other mean neighborhood felines!! *shiver* I don't think I could cope if I found my house taken over one night by one of those big ole nasty possums! But, Mischief likes living outside, although she does occasionally get lonely and my human brings her in for some loving when Mischief feels like that. Mischief has her own nice comfy house with a nice soft padded cushion for a bed and protection from all of the nasty weather we have here in northeastern NC! She's almost treated a bit too much like royalty for my taste, but I give Mischief some slack because she's outdoors. At least Mischief doesn't try to take over sleeping with my human like some felines do (Yes Tooki I mean you!!!! Just because I was sick myself while my human was sick doesn't mean you can take over comforting her).

We also have several visiting felines who actually live here more than at their own human's homes. One my human has already painted a picture of, is Mufasa. He's an all right feline. Kind of handsome, quiet, not too rambunctious, more of a gentlefeline. My human likes him very much, but poor Mufasa must not get treated very well by his humans. He's always so scared, but he likes my human and lets her pet him and even hold him. My human is glad he spends more time here and she takes good care of him. Tooki loves to play with him on the times when he sneaks out, which is getting out of hand lately. I've heard rumors that if he doesn't stop he may end up out there with Mischief ......... sharing her house!......... permanently!! Hey, this could work out for me! Tooki, look the door's open a crack. Want to go out?! *Snicker*

Hey folks! This is Tooki. Tony has her highness trapped and quivering like a kitten. We thought you should see what her highness is really like, so here's a photo of her overlooking her "kingdom" while plotting horrible things for me. Yes, it was ME she was looking at. *shiver* The Horror!!! ! Oh no, here she comes!! Run away, run away! The great behemoth queen is waddling after us!!! Ahhhhhhhh!!!

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